How do you feel?
I don’t know how I feel. Or even what I SHOULD feel.
In the next hour, I will be picking up the U-Haul, for my move. Since it’ll be my first time on wheels in nearly 3 years, I’ll no doubt trip over to Fred Meyer (across the street from U-Haul) and might even pick up a spot of lunch. When I get back, Patrick will help me load boxes into the truck.
Probably by 5-6pm, we’ll be finished, more or less. We won’t pack everything.. some things I don’t feel safe leaving in a u-haul overnight. Computer stuff, mostly, and some clothes.
Tomorrow, bright an early, it’ll be a quick load up. Breaking down the remains of my computer (it’s been bare-bones for days).. gathering up wires, etc.. and then, without much ado, I’ll hop in the truck, and head on down the highway.
I’m supposed to be sad about this. I’m leaving a relationship, of a sort. Well it used to be a relationship. Now it’s just a piece of chain, and those kinds of cobwebs you only ever see haunted mansions, in the movies. What’s left is a sort of friendship.. sort of family connection.. and leaving that, even just that, should be sad.
But I’m not sad.
It’s easy to say that my other housemates are crazy.. they’re not. They have their moments to be sure, but the simple fact is that I don’t really like them very much. There’s been a good deal of animosity and “not talking to” going on for most of the time I’ve lived here. There’s been a significant amount of untruth floating around as well.. stories from both sides of the divide, not to say lies, but outlandish tales that test one’s ability to beleive. Somewhere between Camp A, and Camp B.. is the truth, and I can’t see it.
I’m tired of the animosity game, tired of the yelling drama, tired of their kids running away from home, tired of 9pm sounds of screaming and door kicking.. tired of running into someone in the kitchen and saying “hey there, how’s it going?” and the only response I ever get is “meh”.
I will be glad not to live here anymore. Even factoring in the dislike I have for leaving that relationship.. the time has come, and as Mr. Wu (in Disney’s “The Love Bug”) so eloquently said:
“When you come to last page.. close the book.”
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